This post is between BF AND I (so please do not read)
but if you want to continue reading this post.fine.
but *WARNING!* before you start reading this post
Please do not comment/or advise me/him ANYTHING.Thanks.


Last night, i movie-ED with my door closed.
I cried.Not because of the movie but my heart doesn't feel right.
Just feel that bf doesn't want to talk to me.
by the way he sms: "so you got any work need to bring home to do?..etc"
What does he mean by that?
From my view, i feel that he wants me to be bringing back work to do
so that i will be busy and will speak lesser to him or something.
I really miss the times when he always cherish the time talking to me
Well, i know that's the past and now's the present
But it's also one of the best part of memories.
I don't know,the only thing im looking forward after work
is to talk to him during my spare time.But then...
And i feel that he doesn't care for me. FUCK this feeling.
For example:" If i have mosquito bites all over my body
but if i hadn't told him, would he even notice?
Would he even care to even come and help me put medical cream"
Even if i tell him now, would he get medical cream and help me put?
This is not about telling him what to do then he do.
Its about the feeling called "CARE"
Its the intuition that he will naturally care for me if he love me
Its just like when i cry or furious..what will he do?
Just leave me there crying/furious or
hug me and wipe my tears and ask me what happen.
If a person seriously love a person,he will care for the person,
support her,be there for her through ups and down, he wouldn't leave
the girl in suspense,explaining thing to her,
if she misunderstand the situation.Vise Versa for both parties.
He would try ways to make his girl happy and make her feel secure.
Not by taking things for granted.
"CHERISH" is the word most people DIDN'T do and then
"REGRET" AND "ONLY IF.." comes in when the person left.
And i really hope bf will love and care for me by feel not just words.
Right now, my eyes are a little red and sore.Cried till sleep.
I cried because of the feeling of not being cared by him.
Because i love him, and he is important to me.