Sometimes I felt that it's hurtful when bf is sick and I told him to get mc. He asked me if he can get 1 day mc from me instead . We met only once a week. And most of the time he is either sick or sleeping.sometimes I wonder if he sincerely wants to spend the time with me. I understand that he is tired, I didn't even bother him on weekdays or even Saturdays . He can even meet up with his friends, and he didn't even feel tired.But for me , he is. I got pissed off and told him why not we don't meet at all. He can sleep all he wants.seriously! We only met once a freakking week! 

I mean well...even in the afternoon when we took a family photoshoot, he didn't bother to move in and I had to ask him to shift, but he didn't so I nudge him in(the person ask me to shift) otherwise I will be cut off the family photo.I felt annoyed when he say it's just a small matter. Why not just cut me out of the family since it's doesn't matter to him anyway.Really.Another cousins photoshoot , I know I'm not part of it and he got asked for the photoshoot.so I continued having my food. I never felt like a family till his Cousin Jeffrey and his relative ask me to join in the photoshoot. They say I'm part of it that's where I felt welcome, otherwise I dont, I felt like a replacement.

The part of me seeing many couples getting married, I felt happy and excited for them.The guys can't wait to for their gfs to be their own woman. And I got excited for myself too, perhaps just one -sided. I used to check the banquets out and ask him his ideal wedding banquets but he always put off the topics, I got sick of it now actually that I no longer feel excited, no longer checking. I realised it today when he ask me during his Cousin wedding, Like the photoshoot and everything.I just reply him I don't know... 

Maybe our relationship is just too long that it starts to wobble, taking for granted is another factor.